Are you planning on doing your divorce without an attorney?
You are not alone.
All sorts of people start the process of divorce with positive expectations. They think the divorce will be quick, straightforward, and no conflict. No need for an attorney, right? Well, let’s just say that…
DIY divorce is only successful in about 20% of cases. For the remaining 80% of people, DIY divorce is a massive waste of money that causes problems for years after divorce.
What you’ll discover:
- DIY divorce failing and why
- Complex cases that need an attorney
- Hidden costs of a DIY divorce
- Child custody
Why Most DIY Divorces Fall Apart
A recent report from the Census Bureau estimates there are over 13.6 million custodial parents in America.
A great many of those parents, when they look back on the decision to forgo proper legal representation, wish they had gotten an attorney from the start.
The reality is that the average divorce involves enough complex legal issues that are outside most people’s frame of reference.
That’s the point where most people realize they need to call an attorney. Whether you are stuck on a contested child custody issue, suspect your spouse is hiding assets, or have a complicated property division scenario, these circumstances require expertise from a qualified divorce attorney in Mesa, AZ or one in your local area.
When things get messy is when you need a divorce lawyer who is familiar with the courts and can advocate for your best interests.
Dividing up assets
Some divorces are easy.
One spouse walks away with the family home, one gets the retirement accounts, and they agree to sell the family car. Done deal.
It’s not that hard, right? Wrong. Here are a few places where people make mistakes that can cost them tens of thousands of dollars…
Retirement accounts have special court orders called QDROs. Get this wrong and you get hit with tax penalties. Retirement accounts are worth the assets you see because of tax deferral. Throw a QDRO mistake on top of that and you are looking at a major headache.
Dividing up a business is tricky. Figuring out a valuation first takes the help of forensic accountants. Splitting up the value often requires careful legal consideration to achieve an equitable result.
Multiple real estate holdings create complex division scenarios. There’s more to consider here than just “who gets what home.”
Investment portfolios with stock options, cryptocurrency, and other assets require special care during the division process. The financial penalty for making a mistake here can be very steep.
Child Custody
The number one cause of DIY divorce failure? Child custody disputes.
It’s not hard to see why when you start adding children to a divorce equation. Emotions run high when kids are involved.
Agreements about parenting time and support get ripped up and rewritten as new arguments pop up. We’ve all seen the media examples of child custody battles that make national news.
The reality is that almost 40% of children will experience parental divorce before reaching adulthood.
Every single one of those cases needs to have clear child custody arrangements. The court takes a number of factors into account when making a custody decision. Those factors can be hard for non-lawyers to fully understand.
The relationship of each parent with the child, adjustment to home and school, mental and physical health, any past violence, the child’s wishes, and many other issues can come into play in custody decisions.
When parents try to fight it out without counsel, children get stuck in the middle. Working with a family law attorney protects both parents’ and children’s best interests.
Danger: Domestic Violence
I can’t stress this enough…
Divorces involving domestic violence require professional legal assistance immediately. There is no such thing as a safe DIY divorce when you have to worry about abuse.
Your legal counsel can file for a protection order, create safe ways for you to communicate, make sure abuse is properly documented, create an expedited plan for children, and connect you to support resources.
Do not attempt a DIY divorce when abuse is part of your story. The risks to you and your children are too high.
Hidden assets and deception
I’ll bet you didn’t know this…
Deception is at play in approximately 2/3 of divorces. A spouse might be hiding assets, concealing true income, or transferring property in an attempt to cheat you out of a fair settlement.
Uncovering these schemes takes the work of a trained professional. An attorney works with a forensic accountant to pull bank statements, tax returns, business records, lifestyle comparisons, and hidden asset locations.
Hidden assets stay hidden without this type of scrutiny. You’ll walk away without what is rightfully yours.
High-Conflict Couples
Listen up…
Not all divorces stay civil. There are times when a marriage breaks down so badly that the two of you can no longer communicate.
You end up with a high-conflict divorce. They are marked by constant arguments, zero compromise, ongoing hostility, manipulative behaviors, and using children against the other spouse.
Trying to represent yourself in a high-conflict divorce will make an already bad situation even worse.
DIY divorce advocates are poor negotiators who can only react to problems, not solve them. You need skilled advocates who can simultaneously manage conflict while achieving legal objectives.
The complexity of the law
Here’s the thing most people don’t realize when they try DIY divorce…
The law is mind-numbingly complicated. There are hundreds of statutes, regulations, and court procedures that apply to divorce cases.
Courts have strict deadlines and procedural requirements. Miss one deadline and you lose important rights. You also need to know what evidence is admissible and how to present it. Understanding case law and judges’ typical rulings helps in predicting and negotiating case outcomes. Legal documents have specific formatting and content rules that must be followed precisely or else they will be rejected.
Professional representation eliminates the risk of doing something wrong. That alone is a big reason why DIY divorces fail.
Costs of going it alone
One final point…
Most people who try DIY divorce overestimate the savings and then end up spending far more money when they have to go back to court to correct mistakes or modify custody and support orders.
Bad settlements often cost hundreds of thousands of dollars over time. Unworkable child custody arrangements must be expensively modified. Tax consequences from incorrectly divided assets create on-going financial headaches.
The median divorce cost is currently $7,000 to $15,000 in the United States when using an attorney. It may seem like a lot, but compared to the potential cost of DIY divorce errors, good legal representation costs pennies on the dollar.
Times when you’ll need an attorney
Here is the real question…
When is it time to call in the professionals? I’ll tell you when.
You need an attorney when your spouse hires one. You need an attorney when the assets exceed $50,000. You need an attorney when children are involved. You need an attorney when either spouse owns a business. You need an attorney when there are disagreements over major issues. You need an attorney when there is domestic violence. You need an attorney when one spouse managed all of the finances during the marriage. You need an attorney when either spouse suspects hidden assets.
In other words, unless you are engaged in the easiest of divorces (no children, no businesses, low asset, and complete agreement) you need to be using a lawyer.
Final Thoughts
DIY divorce only works for the 20% of people who truly have no need for an attorney.
A quick reality check for most people who think they don’t need an attorney…divorce is far more complex than they originally anticipated. It’s at that moment, when they realize they have made a mistake and need help, that the expensive errors that plague DIY divorce are committed.
Professional legal counsel protects your financial future, creates fair custody arrangements, and eliminates the risk of costly mistakes. When you need a divorce attorney is not a question. It’s simply a recognition of fact that protecting yourself legally is too important to gamble on.
